How to Dress Like a Gentleman: My Menswear Manifesto

There have been countless articles, pamphlets, novels, sonnets — all written on the topic of female attire in the workplace. Women need to keep a steady watch on their cleavage, their hemlines, their heel size, their hairdo, their lipstick, etc., etc., and ad nauseam. Well, my dearest little cupcakes, I am about to do something positively ghastly … I am about to write an article on three things a man should take care to note when getting dressed for work {or life}.

Menswear Manifesto #1: As a woman, I am always on guard over showing too much chest. It has been drilled into my brain — cleavage is distracting, cleavage is unprofessional, cleavage is never kosher in the work place. Men — this should also apply to you and your chest hair. Not only is your rampant chest hair just as distracting to me as my cleavage may be to you, but it also makes me want to gag. Button up your polo’s fellas. Just yuck.

Menswear Manifesto #2: While we are on the subject, nipples are never appropriate. Are you confused, thinking wait, what did she say? Well, yes I said it and yes some men wear incredibly flimsy shirts into the office — thus exposing their nipples. Undershirts fellas, undershirts. Find one. Wear it. The entire office will thank you.

Menswear Manifesto #3: Jeans and t’s are indeed appropriate in some offices either on a daily basis or on the occasional Friday. I am all about jeans myself. However, gentlemen if you are rocking Urkel jeans with a tucked in t-shirt — while I guess it isn’t technically inappropriate — but it is definitely a fashion no no. I just can’t take it. You look like a character from Flight of the Navigator; loosen up on dress down Friday and untuck that shirt. And while you are at check your armpits for holes … your motto should be if you have a hole in the pit, don’t wear it.

Manly inspiration for dressing more dapper:

{All images via the Sartorialist}