——

1. Denial: I must have skipped this stage a lot of the time, largely because I always blame myself whenever something goes wrong. I constantly say I am sorry – even when I don’t mean it. And I am constantly apologizing or not speaking up in order to avoid conflict. Well, guess what … here comes life lesson # 1 – conflict will find you even if you don’t speak your mind … so what the hell … speak up. DENIAL READING LIST: ‘If You Have to Cry, Go Outside‘ by Kelly Cutrone – to help you grow some cojones; ‘Roses‘ by Leila Meacham – one of the most depressing novels ever written, to help you see it could always be worse.

2. ANGER: This stage is met with a lot of pity … self-pity – or a least on my front. And a lot of nights being woken up from dreams where you are screaming at unknown enemies. What I recommend – yoga. Lots of yoga. Deep breathing. Forgiveness, especially in regards to yourself. And cuddles with your pug. Don’t give into the meanness and desire to call someone and tell them exactly what you think of them. You can never take back hurtful words or actions … and once you get past this stage – and you will – you will want to, desperately. You have to live with your decisions. Remember. So, yoga sun salutation on three … 1, 2, 3 … ohmmmmmm. ANGER SOUNDTRACK: ‘F*ck You’ by Cee Lo Green; ‘Hope It Gives You Hell’ by the All American Rejects; ‘I Hate You So Much Right Now’ by Kelis; ‘Sucker’ by John Mayer; ‘Pain in My Heart’ by Otis Redding; ‘Completely Miserable’ by Lit … music is very therapeutic. Play ‘em loud, play ‘em proud.

3. BARGAINING: This is the stage where you are pathetic. Embrace it. Accept that you are going to send an email begging for forgiveness – one that will probably go unanswered. That you are going to speak to God – for the first time in years – wheeling and dealing for hope. Good luck. Nothing worked over here. BARGAINING GAME: Play Monopoly. At least bargaining is worthwhile in that game, cause it sure won’t change anything in life.

4. DEPRESSION: This should just be called the ‘I need six tons of waterproof mascara stage.’ Honestly – I think a lot of the time I just skip right to this stage and my need to purchase Kleenex in bulk. I walked around crying over everything … tv commercials, my wedding pictures, hearing old songs, walking outside with my dog … pathetic. I was pathetic. I must have cried for an entire month … until all my tears were dried up, and then I managed to find some tears and cry some more. Then I ate. Did you know that cavemen felt stress over the need for food – it was harder to find back then and you never knew when you were going to eat.  That is why when we have stress we eat … because it is a natural human reaction. DEPRESSION SHOPPING LIST: Sweatpants, Keebler Coconut Dream cookies, under-eye coverstick, Haagan-Daz Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream, fluffy slippers.

5. ACCEPTANCE: Sometimes I feel like I was finally okay with a situation, and then something new happens and I get tossed back to Step 2. But eventually you just have to accept; take a deep breath, and move on cupcake! And though you will probably never be okay with how things ended/turned out … you will be able to look back without tears and pain. Hopefully. ACCEPTANCE SOUNDTRACK: ‘No More Drama’ by Mary J; ‘Golden Slumbers’ by the Beatles; ‘I Will Survive’ by Cake; ‘Stronger’ by Kanye West … Rinse and Repeat. Then put on the Princess Bride and realize ‘Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.’

And remember – You will be happy again someday. One day you will wake up & be able to breathe easier. One day you will wake up & realize you are stronger than you think.

Over the past several months I have learned a lot about friendship. I have learned:

1. Real friends stay by your side through the good times; better friends stay by your side through the bad times
2. Mom was right in saying that if I can fill one hand with good, true friends then I am one lucky duck
3. Sometimes friendship hurts
4. To forgive is easy; forget impossible

Maybe that is why I was drawn to this novel.

The book cover masquerades as a novel on vintage fashion {which is definitely a part of the novel}, but at it’s core it is a book about friendship, growth, forgiveness and life. And it helped to heal parts of my own injured heart.

The main character, Phoebe, is plagued with grief over the loss of her best friend. She feels responsible. She feels unable to let go. She feels totally unable to move on … {and believe me I can relate.} I felt for her. I read along and wanted to pull her into a embrace and tell her it would all be okay – even when I wasn’t sure it would be for poor Phoebe. Phoebe not only needs to deal with her grief – but a broken engagement, a new career path, and her parent’s divorce. Sure this book sounds depressing – but lovelies it isn’t. This book is hopeful.

As Isabel navigates her readers through Phoebe’s story, and introduces us to vivid and delicate characters … you realize, in the end, it will all actually be okay.

WONDERPUG RATING:

And a rich mint chocolate chip cupcake.

Though they were quite different, they fell in love one beautiful September night, and lived happily ever after. THE END.

WONDERPUG RATING: 5 sporks. Like Mary Poppins – practically perfect in every way!

Don’t you?

{I wanna wake up with you forever.}

INGREDIENTS for YUMMINESS:

• Sparkling Red Wine
• Pomegranate Syrup
• Stoli Raspberry Vodka
• Maraschino Cherry

All you need is …

Have you ever ridden the PATH train?  Well, I do. Everyday. And one never knows what you are going to see.

Well, if you were on the train today around 8am, you would have seen me reduced to tears over this book!  In public … full on crying over a book.

I picked up this book because the main character synopsis on the book jacket reminded me of a friend {and I will not tell you which one to protect her innocence.}

I picked this book up because I didn’t have anything left to read and it was on sale at B&N. I didn’t actually think it would be this good.

The writing, the story, the characters – all of it was so real. I felt like I knew Emily, that I could almost sink into her mindset, that I could be her best friend, that I was feeling as she was feeling. I got lost in the story and I became so worried to see the outcome – so much so that I actually leafed ahead {which is something, to be truthful, I do a lot but usually because I get bored with the story not because I was actually stressed about the imaginary characters – like in this case}.

And throughout I laughed:

“When she says she wants a fag, does Bridget mean she wants to have sex with a gay person?” Maryann, a tiny raisin of a woman with a red smear of lipstick, asks the rest of my octogenarian book club. “Because I think that’s a very offensive term. My grandson is gay.”

“I didn’t know that. We should set him up with my Walter. He just came out of the closet this last June,” Shirley says, and grabs a napkin to write down her grandson’s telephone number. Shirley is more prune than raisin, wearing her weight squarely in her middle. It looks like her body wanted to …

And I cried, but a happy and settled cry:

“I brought you a present, Grandpa Jack,” I say, when the nurses stop coming in to check on him, like he has died before he has died. I reach into my bag and take out my tiara. My grandfather smiles at me and motions for me to put it on his head. I balance the tiara on his white tufts of hair, and he transforms into an infant prince. Shriveled, regal, and unafraid.

‘”Thanks. Kid. Love. It.” Each word feels like a victory.’

‘Without asking I take his newsboy cap that has been sitting on the window ledge and put it on my head. It is mine now. I don’t need something tangible like this to hold on to Grandpa Jack, but I allow myself the additional comfort nonetheless…’

It was just a nice, warm, real and refreshingly upretentious read.

And since Julie lives in NYC, I hope to run into her in the streets one day, and then we can share a cup of coffee and she can sign my book. Because she made my morning. And a woman who can feel and write like this is someone I would choose as a friend.

WONDERPUG RATING: 5 Stars; a must read.